


Erwin Smith, International Man of Mystery.

by thousandmonkeys



Series: Bartender Spy AU [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, M/M, spy AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 15:32:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1108519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thousandmonkeys/pseuds/thousandmonkeys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even a full decade later, the spy can't possibly be allowed to go in on a mission alone, can he? Damn that man, and damn his cool logic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iggyzhong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iggyzhong/gifts).



> Merry Christmas dearest Iggy~ I hope you enjoy the fic~

There was only so much anyone could _do_ in a hotel room at two in the morning; tomorrow would be gathering blackmail on an embassy for Hanji’s database, but at the moment there was absolutely nothing to do. Levi rolled his back, wincing as his muscles protested against the sudden movement; he’d been lying in bed for the past three hours or so, and the cold creeping in through the cheap panes of the motel weren’t helping.

Frowning, he looked over at the cause for his inability to sleep, staring at the blonde man in silence. “D’you want to know what I heard the interns describe you as?” he asked.

“Hmm? Since when do you listen to gossip?” Erwin murmured distractedly, not looking up from the dog-eared file. “I thought you had no patience for it?”

“Since you showed me the benefits of it.”

That much was true enough; knowledge of a doorman’s favourite pie and the rocky relationship he had with the receptionist managed to snag them a money-launderer without a single bullet fired.

Without a single bullet fired; that was what intrigued the dark-haired man about the blonde, even two decades later.

Erwin smiled ever so slightly, leaning back against the bedstead. “In that case, what makes you think I haven’t heard yet?”

“Heh,” Levi rolled over, folding his arms underneath him to prop himself up, searching grey eyes intent on the man’s face. “They call you the canny old lion.”

He agreed completely, although perhaps not about the alleged oldness—Erwin was only a few years older than him, after all. “What _I_ think is, if you’d heard, you wouldn’t have kept quiet.”

“Oh, I’ve heard,” the blonde said, baritone as smooth as the wine he so enjoyed. “I was waiting to see when you would bring it up.”

A smile tugged at Levi’s lips. “Liar. You frowned,” he said, “You really do need to work on that tell.

Erwin touched a callused palm to his forehead. “Did I?” he asked. The blonde looked up to scrutinize his reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall, tracing the little lines on his face. He frowned again and the wrinkles—he hated to call them wrinkles, it made them sound _so old_ —appeared. “Did I?” he asked again.

With a huff, Levi got up to sit cross-legged on the fine hotel sheets. “It’s going to give you away someday.”

That was a constant worry of his: tells, little tics, habits, call them what you will. Erwin had lost more than a few spies already that way, and Levi had seen first hand an agent die from being exposed back in Istanbul. Leaning slightly forwards, he stared into his coworker’s face. How noticeable _were_ the lines, anyways…

Erwin spoke, breaking Levi’s train of thought. “Mm, a test then: what do they call _you_?”

Shit. “…I don’t listen to gossip about me,” the stockier man muttered reluctantly. He stared at Erwin expectantly, head cocked to a side, but no answer came. The blonde hummed, sliding down the white pillows and pulling the blankets up; looks like he _did_ feel the cold, after all.

Eventually, curiosity won out over pride.  “…what _do_ they call me?” he grudgingly asked.

“That would be cheating, wouldn’t it? You’ll have to find out for yourself.” With a sigh, Erwin shut the folder, setting it to one side. “We should sleep soon. Only six hours until the sun comes up after all, and only seven until we’ve to be out of the door.”

“Bastard. Don’t be so smug. I’ll have it by tomorrow.” Or today, he mentally added, glancing at his watch. 2 AM in the morning; time was passing faster than he’d expected. Sleep might not be his favourite thing in the world, but it was important considering their line of work.

The blonde shrugged, busying himself with the alarm clock’s dial. “We’ll see.” Erwin took off the silver-rimmed glasses perched precariously on his nose, rubbing at where they’d left marks on his pale skin. “So, how’s your evening been?”

Levi snorted. “Stupid question. You’ve been hogging the blueprints for the past few hours. Watching the love life of a jealous girl and her voluptuous best friend is reducing me to the mental capacity of a three-year old.”

He unfolded his legs, pulling them up to rest his head on them. The feel of fine cotton was smooth against his skin. “Is this how you treat your girls on a night out? No wonder you can’t get married.”

Erwin lightheartedly prodded at his leg with a finger. “Considering the fact that you’re _here_ and not back at your own flat, I don’t think you have a leg to stand on.”

“Hm.”

They settled into a comfortable silence, watching the moving colors on the screen. Erwin’s eyes were distant, probably thinking about whatever was in that report, and Levi shifted slightly. There really wasn’t much need to worry; tomorrow mission was just reconnaissance, after all. They did one every other week.

The TV was blaring a wedding march now, horribly tacky in it’s loudness. The groom threw a swan into the air and Levi winced. Poor bird. He wasn’t sure what the rich did, but fowl and weddings didn’t seem to match in any way.

“Have any of your relatives done that before?” he asked, jabbing a thumb at the screen, scowling.

“Let’s just say I never fail to be amused by the various habits of bureaucrats,” Erwin hummed in reply.

Confusion was written clearly on Levi’s face and he gestured for the blonde to go on, turning away from the screen to look at his friend.

“Did you know that she keeps five pageboys in her employ?”

“The ambassador?"

“Yes. It’s quite strange; I thought pageboys as a profession died out a century ago.”

So that was why the flaxen-haired man looked so troubled. Still, the irony of the statement was too much and Levi laughed, prompting a mock-hurt glare from Erwin. “Says the one who has a family butler.”

“…Touché.”

The credits were playing now, little white words rolling on a black screen to the sound of tinny 50’s music. “You aren’t sleeping yet? It's late,” he said, and suppressed a yawn.

Shaking his head, he mentioned in the vague direction of the bathroom, barely visible in the dim light of the lamp. “Go to sleep first, Levi. I’m just going to brush my teeth and—”

_vrrriiiing_

Ringing through the darkened room was the school bell-like tune of Erwin’s mobile, blue screen flashing. “Who the devil is calling at this time of the night?!” Kind of a stupid question, considering how late it was. Still, considering the enthusiasm of mission control, it might be nothing, as unlikely as it could be.

Erwin made to get up, and Levi reached over with a muttered “No, don’t get up.”

_Vrrriiiing Vrrriiiing_

“Alright, alright, I’ve got it.” He squinted at the screen, the meager light casting strange shadows on his face, highlighting already angular features. “There’s no number.” He held it up so that Erwin could see,

Erwin groaned, heaving himself up. His muscles ached from the sparring earlier and he rubbed at a spot, wincing. That would bruise later; damn Levi and his love for underhanded tactics (or “pragmatism”, as the dark-haired man insisted on).

A tiny icon was flashing in the corner and he shook his head, taking the proffered phone. “No, it’s the office. Hanji must’ve found something.”

Animated conversation began on the other end the moment Erwin answered the call, every inch the man of mystery, despite his mussed hair.  The lines around his eyes deepened—they weren’t there when Levi first met him, and the man wondered when exactly had he gotten used to seeing them—and he spoke briskly, authority coming naturally to his smooth voice.

Finally: “No, how much time do we have?” An answer, just as terse, tinny over the phone and agitated, from what Levi could hear. “Yeah, alright. I’m on my way.” He put down the phone, nudging Levi with his elbow to make him move.

Levi shifted over with a rustle of sheets to allow Erwin to get his glasses, eyes intent on his face. No matter how long they’d been working together, there never was much to read from Erwin’s face when it was schooled into the civilized, perfect commander.

“Urgent?” the dark-haired man, instantly regretting it; it was a stupid question, after all. Hanji would hardly call otherwise, considering her respect for other people’s office hours, if not her own; sometimes the man suspected that the bespectacled woman didn’t have a blood stream but a caffeine stream instead.

Erwin stood up, moving over to the open luggage to rifle through his shirts, freshly pressed and smelling of the floral detergent that Levi insisted on. “Yeah."

Levi switched on the lights, the room instantly brightening and Erwin blinked, disorientated. The other man swung his legs off the bed, looking for his slippers. “What’s the mission?” he asked expectantly, rubbing at his eyes. He bent over to look under the bed, but the slippers were nowhere to be found. Levi grimaced; the floor was ridiculously cold without any kind of shoes, but  there wasn’t much choice.

Erwin hadn’t answered yet, and Levi asked again, a hint of impatience entering his voice. “Well?” The blonde had the infuriating tendency to withhold information, an effect cultivated by years of intelligence work, and it _did_ make him quite hard to work with. “What’s the mission and where do we have to be?”

The answer was not what he expected. “Confidential,” the blonde said, and continued looking through the bag. Levi twitched in annoyance at how messy the clothes were—he’d had to fold them later—and grabbed Erwin’s wrist, prompting the blonde to look at him in surprise.

“Don’t give me that confidential bullshit. My only superior is you,” he growled, “and I’ll be damned if I just let you go haring off into the night without a backup team. Let me get my squad, and we can be off in half an hour from now.”

Hopefully they would be available, and even if they weren’t, well. Requirements of the job and all that.

“The presi—”

Levi’s grip tightened around Erwin’s wrist, eyes sharpening into the narrowed slits so famed amongst the other agents in his field. “It’s that bunch of neo-nazis, isn’t it?”

Erwin hummed and easily shook off the other man’s wrist, evading the question. “What makes you think that?” He headed over to the wardrobe, taking down the grey suit he favored and stood there, effectively blocking access to Levi’s own suit.

Levi followed him, fiddling with the cufflinks. “Move over, I need to get my jacket. There’s no way you’re going to survive that, going in alone; why didn’t four-eyes call me first?"

Because there _was_ no way they were going to send their top spy into one of the most brutal organisations without a team.

There wasn’t a chance.

Except the blonde wasn’t thinking along the same lines. Erwin adjusted his tie, gaze cool and voice authoritarian. “Levi. You’re staying here.”

“Don’t be stupid, Erwin. It’s a bloodbath there.” His voice was growing louder, far louder than it should be at two in the morning, he knew, but he ignored it in favour of reaching around he man to wrench his coat off the hanger. It ripped a little, but it wasn’t anything too noticeable.

“They’ve killed three infiltrators already, and god knows _how_ many other people.” What else would you expect of a group who wanted to bring back the Nazi party?

Erwin shook his head, turning around to face the man. More than ever, the height difference was clear, and Levi’s lips thinned. “That's why I’m going instead; I fit their recruitment programme the best. ”

His voice was coolly logical, self-assured, and it gave no hint as to Erwin’s current state.

“I’m—”

Erwin went on, cutting off Levi’s sentence with his own.“Exactly what they torture on a regular basis. I don’t care how skilled you are, Levi, because if they find you—and they will—death is likely the least of our worries. I’m not sending you out to die.”

And that’s where he was wrong. Back stiff, Levi folded his arms, lips turned upwards in a triumphant smirk.

“Heh. Not if I get in as a captive. I can take a few days of torture, Erwin; I’ve done it before. That’s the reason you picked me up, all those years ago, isn’t it?”

Geneva’s gangs were ruthless after all, and Levi hadn't been the most careful of people back then. His shoulders still ached sometimes on clod days like this, and as if on cue, it gave a twinge. He ignored it.

“Levi.”

“ _What_?” Annoyance now, clear in his voice, and the man hated how easily emotions showed. Damn that Erwin and his poker face.

“You know there no way you can go.” Levi made a sound of protest, but Erwin held up a hand, causing the man to stop, lips pursed. “Firstly, we can’t afford to lose our best assassin. You’re indispensible; Ackerman isn’t as experienced as you, and Jaeger’s too rash.”

He laughed bitterly, fiddling with the tie still held loosely in his hand. “Like you’re not?”

“I’m replaceable,” Erwin said with no inflection whatsoever.

The statement was absurd, and the shorter man laughed again. It had to be a joke right? “Hah. By whom? Mike?” Too passionate. “Hanji?” Too distracted; she would sooner go after a runaway spy than the organization hiring her. “ _Arlert_?” Now that one was just absurd!

Erwin was done dressing now, and he pushed past the man, picking up the file with a smooth gesture.

Levi exhaled; he wasn’t going to get anything out of the spy right now. “And secondly…?”

“…You’ll be a liability. You may be the better hitman, I’ve always been the better spy. Don’t force my hand.”

“Try to fucking _stop me_ ; I’m coming, whether you like it or not. Refined bureaucrat like you, there’s no fucking way you’re going to fit in with all those fanatics.”

There were reports of torture, proper medieval torture, and apparently their head scientist idolized Mengele. Erwin wouldn’t _survive_ in there—he would give himself away in a matter of moments, going on a rampage the moment he saw the first damsel get hurt, or the first baby killed.

And even if the blonde managed it, Levi wasn’t going to let his superior see the darkest underbelly of the world.

 In response to that, Erwin simply shrugged. “I’m hardly defenseless. When was the last time you beat me in while sparring?”

“…last month,” he said grudgingly. Fair fights were a rarity nowadays.

But concessions weren;t going to help his case. “They’re going to have guns, Erwin. People don’t dodge bullets in real life, let alone while bound and gagged. I’ve shot over a hundred people by now; not one of them have survived.”  
  
“Levi.”

“…what?” He kept calling his name, and more than anything it helped, it helped to keep him firm in the persona of Levi, the decent man, the lawful hitman—and not the thug.

Erwin knew him all too well, and seize upon the moment. “You met the pampered, sheltered heir in Geneva over two decades ago now. People change; I’ve changed.”

He snorted, unfolding his arms to go sit on the bed, legs apart and hands on his knees, sharp gaze boring into the blonde’s skull. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“…And you aren’t the common city thug anymore.”

 _The bastard._ He must be serious about this, if he was calling up the other mam’s past.

“You won’t come back alive,” he tried once more, futile though it was.

“That’s a risk we take each time.”

“I’ll destroy the organization brick by brick, person by person, even if it kills me,” and he would. He would burn himself out trying, even if he couldn’t, and whatever they inflicted on Erwin would be paid in full. Twice.

“As would I.”

“ _Promise_ you’ll come back alive.”

“…yes.”

He turned to leave, and Levi stopped him. "Erwin," he said, and the man turned. "Yes?" "There's a speck of dust on your lapel." "Oh. Thanks." 

The door swung shut and Levi stared at the fine mahogany wood, mind in disarray and frazzled from worry.  
His hand bunched up into a fist and he punched the wall with a hiss, ignoring the little flakes of plaster raining down.

  
"Fuck."

 


	2. Drabble: Calls from the Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi glowers, drinks and beats the shit out of people who need the shit beaten out of them. And that's why Erwin feels the need to call him at wholly inappropriate times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the Spy AU grew from, to be honest. Oh Levi, you're a really gruff person, you know that?

_bipitty beep  
_

Levi rolled over, legs tangled in the sheets as the insistent light of the mobile broke the darkness of the motel room.

"…just shut up." he mumbled into his pillow, trying to drown out the noise with the cheap cotton. "…too early…"

_beeeeeeep_

"Okay, okay, I’m coming." A hand reached out and fumbled around blindly for the phone, sending the lamp falling to the floor with a crash before finally finding the infernal device.

Bringing the phone to his ear, he mumbled into the phone, voice still hoarse from sleep. “Who the hell is this?”

"What underwear are you wearing?" A familiar voice came through, a prissy voice completely at odds with the words he said, and significant for it’s complete mildness.

Levi twitched and stared at the phone for a second before finally answering. “…none at all if you must know, Erwin.”

A tinny sigh came through, the connection poor as international calls often were. “No point in trying to get you with that one. Couldn’t you pretend I was some buxom woman on the line, looking for a handsome prince?”

"Why. Are. You. Calling. It’s too damn early to deal with this." He checked the display for a second, before amending his statement. "It’s too late in the afternoon I mean."

Silence on the other end, as if the caller were waiting for something. Levi frowned; Erwin normally called at a decent hour, unless…

"…I have another target?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original prompt from localurbanmystic, to quote "I'm now imagining Erwin and Levi jet setting around the world, as spies or something. Erwin is the international man of mystery, wooing women and being dashing, while Levi glowers, drinks and beats the shit out of people who need the shit beaten out of them." Freaking. 
> 
> Thank you for reading~ As always, more fic can be found at serascribbles.tumblr.com


	3. Drabble: How Does She Even Know These Things?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanji's the mission control, and sometimes she goes a little...a little overboard with her research.

The old-fashioned phone on the desk rang, the ringing breaking the silence in the office and causing Hanji to jump, startled out of her reverie. Grabbing the phone with ethusiasm, she sings into the caller’s ear.

"I found his preferred underwear~! It’s very interesting you see; I didn’t think a man in his position would be so enamoured with-"

A growl on the other side interrupted her train of speech, the impatient tone evident in his voice. “As much as I would love to hear about the governor’s fetishes, four-eyes, I’m kind of in an urgent position right now.”

Gunshots rang far off in the distance and if she strained her ears, she could hear the sounds of a dog barking, accompanied by…wait, was that…

"Levi, are you with a girl right now? Where is your sense of romance? Pay attention to her!" she chided. For a professional, he sure had a lack of social awareness.

"Hey, the brothel was the only choice. Erwin’s gone off somewhere, again and…”he grunted in annoyance, and Hanji could just see his brow furrowing. “…stop laughing.”

"Ahaha~ Alright, anyways, the governor’s fetishes are relevant to your…ahem, situation. He has a fancy for men in high heels and lace bustiers, and brings them to his office to act out his stranger fantasies.”

She twirled a strand of hair around her finger, contemplating it. Oh, this was just precious!

"…are you serious?" came the deadpan reply, and she erupted into laughter once more, prompting the others on the floor to stare at her.

"Yes, sweet man. Yes I am. Have fun~ I’ll send the coordinates for the neccessary supplies at the usual place, so, the best of luck~!"

"Hanji. Hanji you can’t be-" Levi’s frantic whispers were cut off by a perverse giggle.

"Go get ‘em, tiger. And take pictures! We can always use some blackmail."

To his horror, the receiver was put down and the monotone beeping of a dropped call was all he heard.

Somewhere off in the world, a dark-haired man swore loudly enough that it passed through the thin walls, prompting the other customers to stare at the wall in envy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt by localurbanmystic. To quote: "Hanji provides them with intel for missions. She goes into way too much detail, but more times than not knowing the ambassador's favourite ice cream or the nearest Taco Bell to the drop off point has saved their asses."
> 
> Thank you for reading, and as always, more fic can be found at serascribbles.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading~ This was set in a Spy AU of mine, and well, who can resist Erwin Smith, International Man of Mystery?


End file.
